This week on DWTS was “Rock Week,” but keep in mind it’s sort of the Vegas revue version of rock and roll, which is to say, more mildly melodramatic than genuinely rocking. The dances were all tangos and paso dobles, known for high drama, passion, fierceness, and aggression. In theory, this show could be great, but instead it was packed with wobbly mediocrity. The Tuesday night repeat dance chosen was Bristol and Mark’s tango — the second lowest scored dance of the night. Yes, Len said it was a breakthrough dance for her, but think about what that means for a moment.
Each week I’ve said “there’s no clear frontrunner” and every week someone has contradicted me but guess who went home last night? A frequently cited frontrunner for the finals, showpony Audrina from the Hills.
It was a shocker, though I can also see how it happened — Tony is not the most popular professional as far as fan base numbers, Audrina’s audience probably isn’t tuning in with great numbers, her technical skills weren’t so good to make up for lack of personality (e.g. Joanna Krupa), and while the woman was at least landing all the steps, there was little story in her performance. Or perhaps the numbers are skewed as the show is flooded with Palin fans who are outvoting everyone — they certainly are filling up the ABC messageboards (along with the Palin haters). That audience might also explain while Kurt Warner is doing so well, despite being on the absolute bottom of the leader board this week.
Last week I said Maks might not have the choreography chops to get him and Brandy a win. I apologize, I can see it now: he is starting to really use their matching long limbs and height to create great dancing. They had the best dance of the night.
Those are some tight leather pants. TIGHT. And that end move was pretty hot.
On Monday’s show they also revealed the top 10 best dances of the past 200 episodes, as voted for online, and so many of them were so good. Many of the ones we mentioned from last week were on the countdown in the top spots.
It is a pleasure to relieve those moments of transformative joy that happen when you see some really dance, when the technical and the creative come together and exceed their parts. That hasn’t really happened yet this season for any of the dancers. Jennifer Grey was aiming for that in the beginning, and she got pretty close, but it felt so…contrived is a harsh way of putting it, but it’s true. Carrie Ann told Jennifer she needs to calm down, and I see it too, Grey is showing signs of Aaron Carter Syndrome, there is a desperation in the grasping and we suddenly doubt her being able to pull it off, so we look away from embarrassment. She could have a story still, but some change needs to happen along the way. Perhaps this is her plan all along, to falter in the middle and then comeback triumphant at the end. Kyle and Lacey will finally break their stagnancy, the young man will spring forth and mature when we aren’t looking, though more likely one of the athletes will break from the pack and grab a slot in the finals. Brandy will continue her upward trajectory, and then maybe we’ll see more dancing worthy of top ten slots.
Oh, and Kylie sang on Tuesday night. That I should always live my life with joy she displays so readily while performing.
Also, Heart! That was the only moment of real rock and roll. Well, until Louis & Co. busted out the dancing and then it became Vegas Heart, but still, I was into it. Note to all intrepid karaoke performers: don’t pick Barracuda. You don’t know it as well as you think.
